


Whether we break or we shatter we never come back the same.

by Catherines_Collections



Category: Leverage
Genre: Character Study, Families of Choice, Gen, Leverage season 2 Parker, Parker-centric (Leverage), Season/Series 02, Team as Family, Team of Thieves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:52:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherines_Collections/pseuds/Catherines_Collections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker knows – good things don’t last. People don’t play nice for too long. They like to smash and break and scream their lungs out. That good is just bad feigning ignorance, and no one can wear a white hat for too long before it starts to smudge – that it won’t last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whether we break or we shatter we never come back the same.

**Author's Note:**

> So i spent a few days writing this. I have so many unfinished Leverage drabbles and so many ideas still coming, so expect more Parker feelings in the future.
> 
> I do not think i will ever be over this series.
> 
> I own nothing, all characters belong to their respected creators. 
> 
> Please enjoy:)

Parker knows–that good things don’t last. People don’t play nice for too long. They like to smash and break and scream their lungs out. That good is just bad feigning ignorance, and no one can wear a white hat for too long before it starts to smudge–that it won’t last.

This team they’ve built, this situation, their temporary family. It’s all too likely to break; to explode like a bomb and catch them all in the wreckage. 

But that doesn’t mean when she’s tucked inside her bed, hidden safe inside of her bunker, that she prays it won’t. 

.

She watches her team; catalogs movements and thought processes, likes and dislikes. She keeps a notebook for each of them. It’s a habit she’s never cared to shake, and it comes in handy every once and awhile.

She watches as Eliot fights with everything he has to protect them, watches as he bleeds for them, sacrifices for them. Watches as Alec types and types until his fingers are numb and enough information is gathered. 

(“There’s never enough Parker,” Hardison had said to her, eyes rolling and taking a drink of his signature orange soda, “There is always more dirt to dig, more crap to find. One missing piece and the con falls apart.”)

She watches as Sophie creates character after character, and yet still manages to always treat the team the same genuinely kind way. No matter how south a job has gone or how many orders of Nate’s they’ve disobeyed. 

She can never get a clear reading on Sophie. She has three notebooks for her alone and even then most of the pages end up discarded from her being unable to decipher Sophie from her facades. It’s all very frustrating, but she does love a challenge.

She watches Nate, with his hard eyes and clever brain, and observes as he plans and manipulates every situation to his will. She watches as he trains them, grooms them into something akin to civilians and saves them from themselves every time.

She watches as he mourns. Catalogs his drinks per day and always turns her head when he’s sitting alone. She doesn’t know how to deal with tears and Nate is not a good person to start with.

Her team, she knows, is irreplaceable. There’s a pang in her heart at the thought and she hates that she can’t place it.

.

Eliot’s strong, Hardison would roll his eyes at her for the obvious statement, but one day he won’t be. 

One day he’ll leave, whether by choice or force, a bullet to the head or unable to handle the rush the jobs give him. One day Eliot won’t be strong, and on that day it will be their job to be strong for him.

It’s so selfish but she can only pray the disaster won’t happen while she’s still around. There’s another pain in her chest at the thought but she chooses to ignore it.

.

Sometimes she considers leaving. Disappearing into the night without so much as an inch for Hardison to trace; without out so much as a trail for Eliot to find. She thinks about it a lot. About being the first one to leave. To be the breaker of hearts rather than to have hers broken. 

She doesn’t say a word about it to anyone, but sometimes Sophie will throw her a look. Cool, calculating, and far too much sympathy not to be categorized as pity. It’s like ice sliding down her back because Parker knows in those moments that Sophie knows. 

She doesn’t know how Sophie does it, how she figures private thoughts out from looks and breathes alone, but Parker does know she needs to learn to school her features better. And so she does if Sophie’s risen eyebrow in the next meeting is anything to go by. Parker offers her a sharp smile in retaliation and Sophie playfully rolls her eyes.

Sophie never mentions her hidden thoughts and Parker never questions. It’s just how things work. 

.

Hardison is smart, possibly smarter than Nate just in a different way. He laughs when she tells him, but there is also some color in his cheeks that wasn’t there before. He rubs the back of his neck and tries to play it off, but she can see the nervousness in his eyes and suddenly she understands. 

They each have their place on the team. It’s a matter of balance and belonging. So she drops it, mentions something about air shafts and her nonstop cravings for them, and leaves him with a puzzled look on his face.

She adds it to her list though and remembers to compliment him every once and a while, taking pride in the smile and flush the words bring to Hardison’s face. 

If Nate notices Hardison’s sudden boost in confidence, whether it’s becoming even more vocal over the coms or giving input on a plan, he doesn’t say anything.

And if Parker sees a few extra smiles pop onto Nate’s worn face when the Hacker speaks up, well it isn’t her place to say anything. 

.

Sometimes she reminisces about her time before their team. The times are few are far between but still existent.

She thinks on how stupid she started out. Stupid and reckless with a death wish where her heart should have been. 

Sometimes she misses it, the freedom of being alone, making her own decisions and taking what she wants when she wants. But then she looks around her–at Elliot drinking with Nate watching a football game, Hardison lying on the couch programming to his heart content, and Sophie who just sits and commentates every once and a while–and the pain in her chest slams back into her full force. Leaving her breathless for a moment until the thought she’s been so desperately trying to ignore sneak up on her and break through, making their way to the surface. 

There’s too much to file through, too many words drenched in emotions and feeling she’s not used to having so she settles on what she knows and channels it into a thought: yeah I wouldn’t trade this for a million tennis ball diamonds. Because for the first time in over a decade she allows herself to believe she has a family. 

So she takes her seat on the couch next to Hardison and the soft smile he sends her does strange things to her chest, but she files those feeling away for a different time. She’s had more than enough realizations for a while.

She sits with them, and let’s herself melt. The notebooks burn holes in her pockets and there will always be questions she knows better than to ask on the tip of her tongue. But her team will keep her safe, and in check. Keep her steady and balanced in a way she’s always been unable to. It’s what they do after all, help where others can’t. 

They’re an intricate bunch her team. Hardly anything alike, but she supposes that’s what keeps them all together. 

So for now she sits with her team, with her makeshift family, and chooses to enjoy this while it last.

While Nate’s still sober, while Eliot’s still with them. While Hardison can still love and Sophie still cares. 

She snuggles into the couch, next to Hardison and a hyper aware Sophie, and breathes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want more of my Leverage drabbles comment and let me know:)!  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated, thank you for reading!:)


End file.
